Sample "Size" Matters: Part 1

It’s absolutely true. Size DOES matter. Just ask any person in the world, hell even query the damn universe. I know for a fact that size matters (or rather 'Sample Size') when it comes to two very specific things:

1) Making a baby and 2) Raising a baby. Let me break this down for you.

Part #1: Making a Baby
I may have previously spoken to this, but my wife and I spent a large portion of last year going through fertility treatments. By and far she had the worst of it having to go through a daily routine which included self-administering shots. I can’t even begin to know the emotional toll this experience had on her … actually I can since I’m a caring husband and a psychotherapist. Let me tell you it’s a hard-hitting and draining road to do so much and be let down time after time. And it’s very easy to feel hopeless in this experience. My wife is an amazing person and she is such a remarkable woman for having gone through this (please read her amazing blog post on this experience).

For me, it was a bit different. My semen analysis was, well, eh. My instructions were to put no alcohol in my system, work out, eat better, get healthier, take daily pills, and give them samples upon request – which I did. The only odd part of this experience was trying to give my sample while hearing conversations in the hallway of the clinic. It’s not that I felt awkward with a 2-inch thick door separating me from the staff or that it was inferred that I was supposed to sit on a bench covered with noisy paper that everyone else has sat on before to … you know; it’s just that I’m a very curious person. Trust me, it’s pretty easy to get distracted and caught up when you hear how Gina’s boyfriend Jake was seen with LaTonya at the Olive Garden and Jake doesn’t even like Italian food.

My road was in no way as difficult as my wife’s but it still affected me. It’s hard to hear, “Dr. Dino, your sperm’s motility, morphology, and volume are not as fantastic as we would have hoped.” Basically the Doc was calling my sperm “adorable.” In fact, at a later time, when my wife was getting her IUI a different doctor said to her, "What company are you using for your sperm? You may want to switch to a different donor with stronger numbers." With all of this happening, I wondered how much machismo would get my way in accepting and talking about this. After all, I am half Puerto Rican. But on the other hand, I’m not that macho - Remember?? I both love to watch and cover my eyes during “The Walking Dead.”
 
I was ok with this from a genetic and biological framework, as this happens but, at the same time, I also blamed myself for making it even harder on us. My reaction was not the stereotypical He-Man response and I was not “Master of the Universe” (see what I did there?). I was filled with deflation. I didn’t want to add to our difficulties or the demise of any probability in having a child. So, I did what any loving partner would do, I sat in my deflated position for a while and then I reacted with purpose. I planned on doing everything I could personally do to increase our probability. It wasn’t easy though, especially after a couple of times of non-success. It can make a person wonder if this work is for nothing and If we’re doing this all to have the memory of not being able to make more memories. I guess what I’m saying is that it’s tough to be strong. My wife and I talked a lot during these times with reassurance, hope, tears, sadness and any other emotion on the feeling continuum. I’m happy that we had each other through this and we are very fortunate that things worked out. Our hearts towards each other were big and eventually so was my dashing sperm. Proof number one that sample size matters within these sample size matters.  

And stay tuned for Part #2: Raising a Baby.