Well if you didn’t get the title, this post has to do with
getting our baby boy’s room ready for his August arrival. Now I’m not what
you’d consider a “conventional male” when it comes to fixing things. My only
educational experience was a house wiring class that I crushed in high school.
Man, I was so good at wiring that the teacher took me aside and encouraged me
to go into that profession. I politely declined, subsequently went through 5 different
majors in college and now work with the Human Brain’s house wiring … so maybe
he had something after all.
I get very excited when thinking about our baby. It’s a very
emotional experience for me as I reflect on all the potential wonder he’ll
bring into my life. Part of my current excitement is getting the baby’s room up
to snuff. As I mentioned, I don’t particularly possess the competencies to do
construction-type things, but I’ve been getting better. My father-in-law has
shown me a lot and he’s been a great help. In the past two years I’ve stumbled
through installing doors & door trim, tiling & grouting, installing
base trim & crown molding, painting, sanding, woodworking, changing
electrical outlets and of course caulk … oh the caulk. There have been generous
amounts of caulk in our relationship, but I feel like it’s brought us closer. I’ve
been putting a lot of work into the baby’s room and it’s turning out great. And
doing this work has also reinforced some thinking for me.
As fathers, we don’t get to feel the same initial bond with
our child that the mother does. This makes sense logically and medically as we
don’t have wombs. However, in my mind we don’t have to be a stranger to
experiencing that feeling. As I’ve been finding ways to increase this emotional
connection it hit me, “I’m a part of creating the baby’s next womb!” It’s a
cool reframe when you think about it. Since this reframe I often find myself
sitting in the baby’s room, taking it all in, and thinking, “I helped create
this for my child.” It’s a wonderful feeling and one can’t help but smile. At
this point I’m just about done with working on the foundation of the Baby’s
second home sans furniture. I’ve aptly named it “Womb 2: Electric Boogaloo” (Or
maybe you prefer “Baby Dr. Dino and the Temple of Womb,” or “Legally Baby 2:
Red, White and Womb”). At this point, the “Temple of Womb” is the Cadillac of
wombs with fancy new paint, brand spanking new electrical outlets and trim, and,
of course, crown molding. And let’s not forget about the copious amounts of caulk
… it’s a baby boy after all. Doing this work I’ve been feeling an even stronger bond with my child. I think it’s very important, as a father, to find little ways to increase your understanding and bond with your baby. In addition to my Extreme Womb Makeover, I’ve been talking to my wife, reading books and talking with fathers and fathers-to-be. It’s important to feel that attachment and connection to your child as early as you can as it also assists with your identity formation regarding becoming a father. It’s good stuff.
In the meantime, I will continue doing my best Tim Allen
impression. Not the one where he was arrested for a DUI and again for pound and
a half of cocaine (man that’s a butt load of coke!) but, rather, the impression
of him fumbling through home improvements because he cares about the family
that will be affected by them. This impression is for the new incoming love of
my life. Here’s to you baby boy, I hope you like your new digs.
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